Hana Nitsche

Someone get this poor woman a towel, please?

This is what Germany’s Next Top Model Hana Nitsche is doing these days. This is what ours is doing. We lose. Seriously, can’t we do better? Hana is posing all sexy-like for magazines like FHM France here, looking about as hot as the sun, and our inaugural Next Top Model winner is the queen of the Twitpic. We’re America, dammit! This isn’t even Italy or Brazil or hell, Australia I’m comparing us too, it’s Germany! (No offense. Some of my best friends are German.) I could understand us not being able to compete with those countries when it comes to modeling competitions, but damn… Okay, I need to go lie down for a minute…